Let's Talk About Police Brutality.

Some of the guys in We The Kings and Forever The Sickest Kids, including their crew, were involved in a brutal beating by the Philadelphia Police. It’s not yet known why this incident happened, but according to tweets from Travis Clark, Jonathan Cook, and Caleb Turman (from We The Kings and Forever The Sickest Kids respectively) the police pulled nightsticks, and were screaming, “Do you want to die tonight?” and “We don’t care about you!” Three people where then brought to jail, and one was brought to the hospital for head injuries. 
Apparently this all started when the guys were loading the vans in front of the club when the incident occurred.

Alt Press was the first to cover it. Here’s the link to the article.
http://www.altpress.com/news/6642.htm

There are videos and pictures and witnesses who posted blog immediately after the incident. You can find links to these through the link above. 

This is ridiculous! Abuse of power at it’s best. Let’s hope something happens to the police officers involved. Completely unnecessary!

God And Other Debates.

A friend and I had a discussion tonight that I found a lot of inspiration from. My friend, we will call her Tiffany in case she wants to remain anonymous, is a strong, beautiful, woman. She has her goals in life, and her beliefs and she won’t let anyone tear her down for what she believes. Tonight we got to talking about her beliefs and some things that she wants in a man. The one thing that came up that led to the discussion is that she wants to marry a man who shares the same religious beliefs as her. She shared a verse with me from the bible that helped with her reasoning, and the verse was: 

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:14-18

Now, when I read this verse, I took it as, a believer and non believer should not be associated with the other. So for me and her to be such good friends like we are, we are in the wrong. She said that for her, it’s in the dating and marriage sense. In her opinion, she doesn’t want to marry someone who has different beliefs as her, because down the road, one or both could start to stray away from their beliefs and start following the other’s, and that isn’t fair to the other. Another issue she is worried about is that if her and her husband were to have children, how would they decide to raise their children when it comes to religion. In all honesty, I can see why she would worry about this, but at the same time, I believe that if you are meant to be with someone, same religious beliefs or not, everything would work out. I would like to think that everyone would be open and supportive enough to accept that the love of their life believes something different, and that is okay, because in my opinion, in the end we all end up in the same place, even if our beliefs say differently. Of course that is just my opinion. 

So I guess the question to really think about is this, can two people who have to completely different religious beliefs, be happily married for the long run without straying away from their beliefs? I like to think optimistically and say yes, while others will say no. Unfortunately it’s hard to truly say yes or no. And while everyone likes to think that their religion or beliefs are the correct ones, there isn’t a single person who can say they know for sure who is right and who is wrong. Religion will always be a never-ending debate. People don’t like to settle and accept that they may be wrong, we are a stubborn group and most are extremely close- minded. 

Give me your opinions!

Jealousy is a disease..

And I am definitely suffering from it right now. I don’t usually get jealous, and I know a lot of people make that claim, but I really don’t. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that things work out for some people while for others they don’t, and I am okay with that. I know that things will and are going to work out for me. One day. I just wish that day would come sooner. See, I’ve always struggled to find the one thing in life that I’m truly passionate about. When I found it, I didn’t recognize it, and when I didn’t recognize it, I just forgot about it. So I just started doing it again, and by it I mean photography. I transferred to an art school, and started learning more about photography. I’ve been out there shooting, doing favors for friends who need head shots, taking pictures at rugby games, and even doing some local shows. I read books to learn new techniques and gain a greater knowledge for what I love. So i guess you’re wondering where the jealousy comes in, right? Well, it seems like no matter how hard I work, I’m not getting anywhere. I have friends who do photography as well, and they have had so many amazing opportunities, and I can’t help but be jealous of them. I have friends who aren’t even photography majors, and they are out there coming across opportunities and I can’t help but want to scream out of frustration, when i know I should be happy for them. I truly love taking pictures, but I feel like I’m going no where. 

So how do I change this? How do I get passed the jealousy and just move forward and keep working towards my goal? This last semester I finally got this motivation, this push, to work harder, learn more, go out and shoot more. I started to see a change in my work, and receive compliments from people. It felt great, and then it all came crashing down about a month ago. Other aspects in my life started bringing my down and I lost my motivation and fell into a slump, kind of like the one I went through in high school. Back then I didn’t care about anything and so I didn’t work hard for anything. All I cared about was having fun with my friends, and living life. Now I want to have fun, live life, and do something that could inspire someone else. 

Photography is my release, next to music it’s all I have. It’s what I live for, and I’m hurting myself by letting this jealousy take over my life. I need to fight this and get that motivation back.

 

It seems like things are working out for everyone else but me. Not just with photography, but also with life in general. I can’t find a job, I’m struggling in school, my parents want me to move out, my heart is broken when it shouldn’t be, so many things, and I just wonder when will I catch a break? I don’t want to be this depressed, emo person who complains all the time, but I don’t want to fake like I’m happy. I just wish I was strong.

What does the future hold?

I haven’t been writing much, mainly because I’ve been so busy and also because once again, I’ve been lacking in inspiration. I noticed that I rarely feel inspired, especially when looking at other people’s work. Instead of getting ideas and becoming inspired, I get upset and start doubting myself, which leads to me not wanting to write or take pictures. I know that there are always going to be people who are better than me, and I should be happy about that, I should learn from them. But I look at it as I will never be that good, so I should just stop trying. It’s a vicious circle of self doubt, never-ending and painful emotionally and mentally. If that weren’t enough, I beat myself up for not being able to produce work so often. I see other photographers going out and shooting everyday, looking at things and seeing the beauty in it all, and then I look at myself and see that I do the complete opposite. I don’t shoot everyday. I see things and think, well that would be beautiful, if only I had my camera. Maybe I should bring my camera with me more, but I’m so scared that it will get broken. And as for my writing, I really should try doing that everyday. It’s sad though, I really need someone there pushing me to do things. But when I have that person, I get angry with them for pushing me. Maybe there is just something terribly wrong with me. This is an ongoing fight in my mind.

            I think I might have figured out why I haven’t been so inspired lately. When I was living in San Francisco I was constantly taking pictures. They may not have been the best, but I was taking pictures. When I moved back home to Kenosha, the inspiration kind of died out. And even though moving back home was the best choice for me mentally and emotionally, I feel like artistically it was a terrible choice. Unfortunately, I am not ready to move out of this town again, I am not emotionally stable enough to be away from my support system. And that brings me to the question, will I ever been emotionally stable enough to move away from my family and friends, my support system? I’ve become dependent on them and make every decision based on their opinions. So how do you pull away from that, and become more independent? Or is relying on my support system not a bad thing at all? Our society tells us now that you have to be independent and only rely on yourself. So does my relying on my friends and family mean that I am a weak person? Or is society wrong? And how do we discover when we are strong enough to go out on our own? It’s thoughts like these that keep me up at night. So what do we do? Just push them to the back of our mind, or try and figure out the answers? Like I said, it’s a never-ending vicious circle of self doubt in my mind.

The Color Fred and City And Colour

Last night I was blessed enough to be able to go see City and Colour and The Color Fred for free in Chicago. I have to admit I was a little nervous that me and my friend wouldn’t be able to get in because there would be so many people there, but we lucked out, got in and had amazing spots! The show was amazing to say the least, and intimate with only a guitar and mic in between us. Definitely a great way to start off the year concert-wise.

The show started off with The Color Fred, and he was wonderful. He has this great energy and all of his songs sounded great even though it was an acoustic set. I have to say, the man can play the guitar. I got so distracted watching his fingers I forgot to take pictures during one song. The man knows how to interact with a crowd too. “You guys are truly awesome!” He said at one point, with someone quickly responding back,” No man, you’re awesome!” The conversation then quickly became comical, with Fred saying,”Okay well if you guys know how awesome you are, I won’t tell you anymore!” He was so funny and really took time to converse with people while he was up on stage. Everyone loved his goofy comments and big smile. He handled some obnoxious drunk dudes quite well also. And he is one chill dude to meet, so grateful to everyone he met and talked to.

City and Colour played next and even though there were some very rude people up front, Dallas Green was absolutely phenomenal. He left the set up to crowd, which brought on chaos, but the show was excellent. This was my first time seeing Dallas play live and I was excited to find that he really can sing as well as he does on his cd’s. Most bands sound different, sometimes strained when singing live, but Dallas has an incredible talent. He hypnotizes the crowd with the way he radiates with emotion during each song. You could really tell that Dallas doesn’t look at himself as some huge rockstar, but as someone who is really doing the one thing he loves. His presence on stage wasn’t a cocky, “I’m the shit” presence, but a calm, relatively shy, and entrancing presence. He was soft spoken and funny, and quick to admit that he didn’t remember how to play certain songs. (Which he actually did play a song that he at first didn’t remember, but worked through it for the fan who requested it. That’s pure awesomeness in my eyes.) Dallas’ voice and guitar playing is beautiful to say the least, and his music is definitely something everyone should experience live.

Meeting Fred and Dallas was just the icing on the cake. They are both extremely chill guys and really do take time out to talk to all of their fans. Instead of just taking a quick picture or signing something quickly, they converse with people, make phone calls for fans who couldn’t make it. Dallas and Fred truly awesome guys, amazing musicians and really care about the music and their fans!

Happiness Is A Warm Gun...

I’m sitting here in my living room watching “A Double Shot At Love” and this immense feeling of loneliness just crept over me. It’s absolutely ridiculous that a show like this could actually trigger a feeling like this for me, but unfortunately it did. Ever since I came home for winter break, I’ve been expecting to see someone who means a lot too me. I tried a few times, and he just blew me off every time, even for my birthday. The one day he promised that we would get to see each other, I didn’t even hear from him. And that hurt a lot. Me and him have an absolutely ridiculous history, and unfortunately, if you look at our history you can see that the way this winter break played out is quite repetitive. 

I decided as a New Year’s resolution that I would try my best to get over said boy. And so far it is slowly working. I haven’t contacted him in any way, even though I’ve honestly caught myself randomly about to text him, especially when intoxicated. But even though I haven’t contacted him, I think about him constantly. Little things remind me of him, talking to other guys makes me feel like I’m cheating on him, and hearing about him puts me on the edge of tears. Oddly enough though I haven’t cried over him yet. I’ve only felt like this with one guy before, and I constantly cried over him, but this guy, I can’t bring myself to cry over. It makes me wonder if I really do love him like I think I do. When I am with him, nothing in the world could bring me down, and when I’m away from him, I can’t stop thinking about him, but what if it’s just a crush. Maybe I don’t love him. Maybe I don’t know what love it, like I thought I did. What I do know is that it is the most confusing thing in the world and I will never fully understand it.

I hate the feeling of loneliness. It makes me run to the closest thing that makes me feel loved, and usually that ends badly. This was a terrible rant about my loneliness and I’m sorry. It’s just something I need to get out of my head and on to some “paper”.

Taser or Gun?

 The one question I have concerning the shooting of a man in the BART station in San Francisco is how do you confuse a gun and a taser? And if they are so easy to confuse, why would they be next to each other in a holster? Unfortunately for this officer he grabbed the wrong weapon. This also brings me to question what kind of taser he had. Going by the video it had to of been one that shoots out because the officer stood up over the man and shoots, so either he knew he had the gun and shot him on purpose, or his taser shoots out. (Which by the way is the kind of taser I want!) So let’s look into this a little more. The officer cuffs the man and puts him face down on the ground. It is obvious there is a bit of a struggle and a second cop helps restrain the man, however with two officers there is still quite a bit of a struggle. Officer number one reaches for something on his holster and then brings his hand back down quickly as if checking to see if he has either his gun or taser. After bringing his hand down and trying to restrain the man, he brings his hand back up, grabs his gun, stands up, and shoots the man. Not even a second after this happens he looks distraught, everyone stands up and backs away, obviously shocked, and the officer brings his hands to his head then down to his knees, quite obviously upset. So what is it? An accident or a purposeful shooting? If the officer meant to do it, well he obviously didn’t know what it would feel like, and if it was an accident, well then he is obviously not very smart since he mixed up a taser and a gun. And hey, maybe it’s a lot easier to mix the two up than I thought, I’ve never held a taser, let alone seen one, so I can’t be quite sure on that part, but I am positive that you go through training, and that officer went through two different trainings. He should have known what he was grabbing. He is at fault, whether it was an accident or not, and he will have to live with this forever, but in my eyes, I think it was an accident. I sincerely hope that people will get over this whole racist thing. He did not do it because the man was black, quit trying to blame every little thing on racism. He was either trigger happy or it was an accident. But this definitely was not a racism thing.